Is Ice-cream the same as sex?
Reactions to women talking about sex are fascinating, this article describes two situations, and people's common reactions to them.
When are conversations invitations?
A woman talks about sex.
A man assumes the woman welcomes “advances” because she’s talked about sex.
Woman “Please don’t intimately talk to me about sex, I’m not in a sexually intimate relationship with you, it was not an invitation”.
People’s reactions:
“She shouldn’t have talked about sex, her talking about sex means she has no self respect and she’s inviting men to abuse her. What else did she expect to happen??”
How about this version?
A woman talks about eating ice-cream
A man tells her how he’s going to feed her ice cream, and how much he’s going to enjoy it.
“Please don’t assume that because I like eating ice-cream I would want to eat it with you, or talk intimately with you about eating ice cream”.
People’s reactions: “who the fuck gave you the entitlement to think that just because she likes eating ice cream that she’d want to eat ice cream with you? You entitled prick”.
Why do we shame women for talking about sex, as if somehow it's their responsibility for causing harassment? Because they talked about sex?
The people who sexually harass are the ones responsible for sexual harassment, full stop.
Cultural blame & shame
Our whole culture to women: "if you talk about sex, expect sexual harassment, if you don't want sexual harassment, hide that aspect of your humanity."
I'm sorry, but no. My sexuality is part of who I am, why should I hide the fact that I enjoy sex, in a vain attempt to avoid harassment?
Even in the 25 years of my life I steadfastly endeavoured to be a very good girl, socially acceptable, squeaky clean... I still got sexually harassed by men... unwanted, uninvited sexual
attention.
It's not the women talking about sex which is the problem, it's the people doing the sexual harassment who have the problem, how about shaming their behaviour instead please?
